Written by AFA Intern Mary Piscatella
“I don’t paint dreams or nightmares, I paint my own reality,” said Frida Kahlo. Through art, I, too, have been able to create my own reality as art has allowed me to generate the emotions I want to feel.
When I was in middle school, my mother was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer. My world of color quickly turned to a world of black and white as I was forced to exit my childhood and find my own independence while my parents became occupied with the state of my mother’s health. Around the same time, I signed up for an after-school art class with a few of my classmates. Although art had always been a prominent aspect in my life as I had taken the subject both inside and outside of school, the classes that initially felt like another place for my parents to send me after school turned out to be one of my favorite activities. Picking up a pencil and doodling a place I wanted to be or painting the bright, positive colors I wanted to feel allowed me to escape from my internal stress I felt at home and transport into the reality I wanted to create for myself.
Through the class, I became much closer with the friends that joined me in the activity as we were not all in the same friend groups at school. During the class, I felt as though I could be myself because I did not have the pressures of my other classmates to act like the person I was expected to be at school every day. Our small art class felt like a safe space where we could share any aspect of our lives in a judgment-free zone. Although we may not have had much in common at school, art truly brought us all together and allowed me to see a world of color I thought I had lost after my mom’s diagnosis because my friends helped me to not feel as alone with my internal struggles.
Additionally, the art class introduced me to my greatest mentor, Dee. Upon entering the class, I became very fixated on doing art “correctly” or perfecting an image I was attempting to recreate. Dee taught me to not be as hard on myself as there is no “wrong” or “right” way to do art, however there are techniques used to achieve certain styles. Additionally, Dee helped me find ways to relate some of my art to the negative emotions I felt at home. She found ways to aid me in elevating the self-esteem I had lost during middle school and helped me to battle my own inner demons by creating a reality I wanted through art, experimenting with different colors, styles, and textures. Through the years I had Dee as a teacher, she grew to be a close friend and a mentor I could trust and tell anything to beyond aspects I wanted to share with my friends.
During COVID, Dee unfortunately passed away from cancer. However, I continue to feel her guidance when I have the opportunity to do art, mainly through Arts For All’s Fun Craft Fridays. Art truly means the world to me as it allowed me to create my current reality– the reality I painted for myself years prior.
